I-Mascot entsha ka-JungYulKim.com Yembulwa Ngezansi! (skrolela phansi)

'Kwesokunxele Nakwesokudla' Ingxoxo Yamahlaya

Usuku uJanuwari Wamashumi Amathathu Nanye Onyakeni Wezinkulungwane Ezimbili Namashumi Amabili Nantathu, Abaseshi ababili abanesibindi Benkonzo Yephepha Lasetoilet kumele balwe nezimo ezimbi ukuze banqobe futhi banqobe. Lena indaba yokuthi u-Dotcom Kim kanye nosayitsheni Peartree balilondoloze kanjani lonke isethi yamathuluzi ekubambiseni okuyingozi kwe-Malevolence and Compassion Skilled Trades Bureau. Konke kuqale lapho kungena ucingo oluphuthumayo luvela kwa-TPSB ngo-2:30 PM Isikhathi Esivamile SaseMpumalanga:

bBBrrrrriiiinnNNNG! _(ifoni)

bbBBBRrrrriiiiNNNGgg! _(ifoni)

BBBRrrrriiiiNNNG! _(ifoni)

^KIM ngaluphendula ucingo ngokushesha ngabona ukuthi nguwe!

_{I -TPSB} ngicela udaba oluphuthumayo. Ngidinga ukuthi uye ehhovisi le-Skilled Trades Bureau futhi ubambe amathuluzi omthengisi ngokushesha.

^I-KIM Ngizolithathela ini leli thuluzi? Ingabe ithuluzi elisethiwe lisengozini?!

_TPSB D..k..ssshhhhhhh...(umugqa uyathula)

^KIM NOOOOooo! Ingabe amathuluzi aphephile?! NOMA amathuluzi AKAPHEPHILE!!??

...ssssshhsss...(dayela-ithoni)

^KIM PHENDULA MEEEEeeee!!!!....

(thula)

^KIM (ethule, izinyembezi zehle esihlathini sakhe)

^Sarge Ngizwe KONKE MAN! Ucingo belusocingweni lwesipikha, LETS ROLL.

^KIM Amathuluzi ... amathuluzi asengozini yokulahleka noma ukuduka. Ngicabanga ukuthi sobabili siyazi ukuthi manje...

^Sarge CHA KIM! Ngeke sikuvumele lokho ukuba kwenzeke!

...bahlanganise izandla zabo ku-centre console, bobabili baphenye iswishi ukuze bafake amasiren...

Nge-pedal eya ensimbi, baphuma esiteshini se-dirty-2 Division, bese befaka ngokushesha i-GRIDLOCK ephelele.

^KIM Manje njengoba isikhathi singo-2:42 PM manje ngithumela i-imeyili emfushane kuMnu. MURDOCK.

^Sarge Yebo, kodwa kungani ungimemeza isibongo sakhe?

^KIM Uqinisekile ukuthi ngiyamemeza?

^Sarge Yebo, ngiyabona ngoba amagama aku-'ALL CAPS'.

^KIM Wow, yehlisa umoya, asikho isidingo sokungithethisa ngamagama athi 'all-caps'.

Bachitha amahora amathathu alandelayo bekhasa ku-gridlock. Ngesikhathi befika eMCSTB, amahhovisi abevele evaliwe. Bavala ngo-3:00 PM. Bengafuni ukusebenzisa Amandla Awo Akhethekile Okwenza I-Toilet Papering abanawo, bobabili banquma ukubuya ngakusasa ekuseni.

^Sarge Sikwi-MCSTB manje.

^KIM Yebo, lokho kuyiqiniso, futhi kubonakala kuvaliwe.

^Sarge Angifisi ukuthi sisebenzise Amandla ethu Akhethekile Okwenza Iphepha Lezindlu Zangasese ngalesi sikhathi.

^KIM Asibuyele emakhaya ethu ngokuhlukana bese sibuyela ku-Hot Pursuit yalolu daba kusasa ekuseni, njengoba lubaluleke kakhulu.

Abaseshi ababili babuyela ekhaya futhi baphinde bahlangane ekuseni eDirty-2 Division

Baphinde futhi ku-cruiser, babukane emehlweni, bahlanganise izandla futhi baphinde bavule amasiren, okokugcina. Bazolondoloza lelo sethi yamathuluzi kungakhathaliseki imiphumela.

^Sarge KUFANELE SINDISE LESO THULUSI NOMA KUNGENZEKA IMIPHUMELA!

^KIM NGIYAVUMA

Ijubane elibili linqamula idolobha, kukhala inhlabamkhosi, kukhala amahutha. Bafika e-MCSTB.

^Sarge Ngizozizwa ngingcono kakhulu uma ngazi ukuthi amathuluzi awasekho engozini yokulahleka noma ukuduka.

^KIM Ungakhathazeki! Sizowathola lawo mathuluzi futhi SIZOWONGA lawo mathuluzi! Kubalulekile ukuthi thina, njengezikhulu ze-TPS, sibonise uzwela kuzo zonke izinto nangazo zonke izizathu.

^Sarge Uqonde ukuthini ngempela?

^KIM Lawo mathuluzi, lawo mathuluzi ampofu kufanele esabe kakhulu, ethuke kakhulu manje.

^Sarge The Amathuluzi? Amathuluzi awanayo imizwa.

^KIM ABAYENZA! Banayo imizwa!

^Sarge (kuthule)

^KIM Uyabona Sarge, ngingumuntu othanda inkolo ngokwedlulele. Umthetho waseCanada unikeza amalungelo, ngakho-ke amalungelo amaningi kakhulu.

^Sarge (kuthule)

^I-KIM ECanada sinoMthetho wethu okhethekile obizwa ngokuthi uMqulu Wamalungelo Nenkululeko. Inikeza amalungelo athile kwiZakhamuzi kuleli zwe elinobulungiswa kodwa, kuthiwani ngezilwane? Kuthiwani ngezilwane? Akufanele yini izilwane zithole amalungelo kakhulu Sarge?

^Sarge Yebo, kufanele...

^KIM Futhi kuthiwani ngezihlahla? IDolobha lenza imithetho kamasipala evimba abantu ukuthi bagawule izihlahla. Ngokwami, ngiyakholelwa kulawo malungelo.

^Uqinisile ...

^KIM Awuboni ukuthi ngithini Sarge? Izilwane zinamalungelo, Izitshalo zinamalungelo kodwa, kuthiwani ngamalungelo ezinto Eziphilayo? Akufanele yini Izinto Eziphilayo zibe namalungelo afanayo nayo yonke enye into ekhona?

^Sarge ngicabanga ukuthi ngiyayibona lento oyishoyo...

^KIM Yebo! Impela Sarge! Lawo mathuluzi, empeleni, kufanele abe nawo wonke amalungelo afanayo ezimila, izilwane, noma abantu. I-Charter Kufanele Ivikele yonke into ngokulinganayo, futhi inganqumi ukuthi yini okufanele ibe namalungelo.

^Sarge ...ngakho-ke, okushoyo ukuthi, akunandaba ukuthi umnikazi wamathuluzi...

^KIM Impela, akunandaba, ngoba akekho ngempela ongaba umnikazi wamathuluzi. Amathuluzi ngokwawo esiwasindisayo. Manje, i-TPSB ibicela ukuba 'sibambe' amathuluzi kodwa, ngingathanda ukusebenzisa igama elithi 'khulula'. Lawo mathuluzi ampofu amancane ethukile, angalahleka noma aduke nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Cha, asikho isidingo sokuxhumana nomnikazi ukuze uthole imvume. Amathuluzi ngokwawo esiwasindisa ngobuqhawe.

^Sarge ngiyavumelana nesitatimende sakho.

^I-KIM Ngokuzayo, ngikholwa ukuthi umphakathi wethu uzogcina wamukele amalungelo ezinto ezingaphili njengabalulekile NJENGOKO, futhi mhlawumbe nabaluleke KAKHULU kunathi. 'KuSomqulu Wekusasa' ngiyazi ukuthi izenzo zethu namuhla, ngalolu suku oluyinhlekelele, zizobonakala ngemuva njengezilungile.

^Sarge Yini?

^KIM Darn it Sarge!

^USarge Murdock unamalungelo ngaphansi kwe-Charter of Rights and Freedoms, ikakhulukazi Isigaba 8: "Wonke umuntu unelungelo lokuphepha ekusesheni okungenangqondo noma ekuthathweni."

^KIM Oh suuuuure... Kodwa kuthiwani ngamalungelo alawo mathuluzi? Lawo mathuluzi amancane ethukile, angazi nokuthi ngelinye ilanga ayosetshenziswa yini ekuqopheni nasekukhiqizeni kwangempela ezinye izinto ezibonakalayo. Lawo mathuluzi angacabangani ngalokho?!

^Sarge ...uuuhhhh...

^KIM KANYE! Futhi, kuthiwani ngamaLungelo Ami Amalungelo?! Anginalo yini ilungelo lezinkolelo ZAMI zezenkolo? Nokukholelwa kunoma iyiphi inkolo engiyifunayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyini?

^Sarge anginaso isiqiniseko sokuthi utholani kodwa, ngicela uqhubeke.

^KIM INGABE KUFANELE NGKUCHAZE NGAKHO?

^Sarge (awuqiniseki ukuthi uphendule kanjani)

^KIM NGINGUMKHONZI WEZITHOMBE!... Lapho! Ngakusho, ngagcina ngisho. Ngingumkhulekeli wezithombe oqinile. Ngiyakholelwa ebunkulunkulwini bezinto ezingaphili futhi ngiyazikhonza.

^Sarge Oh... manje sengiyaqonda. Ngokwezinqubomgomo ze-Toilet Papering Service, kudingeka ukuthi nginibongele futhi nginamukele ngenkolo yenu evelele. Bravo.

^I-KIM Impela, futhi uma kufanele ngihambe 'ku-Charter vs Charter' ukuze ngisekele umsebenzi wami wenkolo kulawo mathuluzi, NGIZOKWENZA.

^Sarge Akuhlobene nalokhu, iwebhusayithi yakho iza kanjani?

^KIM Oh, angazi, ngikhohlwe iphasiwedi ye-akhawunti, ngakho-ke angikwazi ukukhokha idola elilodwa ngenyanga. Empeleni akubalulekile kakhulu kimina njengesizinda se-dot com, ngisho negama lami, futhi mina ngokwami ​​elibhalisiwe, akubalulekile kimi. Ngisho... akufani nokuthi inomphefumulo noma amalungelo nanoma yini. Akuyona ngisho into ebonakalayo njengezithixo engizikhonzayo.

^Sarge yeah. Akukho okufanele sikhathazeke ngakho.

^I-KIM Impela. Ngaphandle kwalokho, yisiphi isilima esingakhokha imali ebalulekile ukuthenga igama lesizinda elinegama lomunye umuntu noma kanjani? Ama-euro angu-198 yimali eningi yento engeyona engokoqobo.

^Sarge Wazi kanjani intengo yokuthengisa yesikhathi esizayo?

^KIM ASIKHO ISIKHATHI SAKHO MANJE, ASIHAMBE SIGCINE LAWO mathuluzi!

Athathe amathuluzi akhohlise unobhala athi awahambise kuMnumzane uMurdock.

^Sarge Okuhle sakhohlisa unobhala ngokuthi sihambisa amathuluzi kuMnuz Murdock.

^KIM Manje ngizothumela i-imeyili kuMnu. MURDOCK njengoba ncamashi 9:06 AM.

^Sarge Awudingi ukumemeza igama lakhe, ngimi khona lapha.

^KIM Uxolo, umunwe wami ushelele kukhiye we-caps-lock. Hhayi-ke, ngithemba ukuthi i-imeyili engisanda kuyithumela akubona ubufakazi obuphathekayo bokungalaleli umthetho ohlobene noMthetho Wokulungisa Izinkinga Zomphakathi. Ngisho ukuthi u-$2501.60 ungaphezu kuka-$1000.

^Sarge Ungakhathazeki, ama-rookies kuphela akhipha imali engaphezu kuka-$1000 nge-Attourney General. Ngiqonde ukuthi, akuseyena u-2021, dlula...

Futhi... ukuphela kwesigcawu.

UKUNGALALELI ISITHOMBE kuyinto embi kakhulu emqondweni woMKHONZI WEZITHOMBE.

Qaphela: Selokhu kubhalwe lokhu, kunqunywe ukuthi ukuthengiswa kwale webhusayithi kungenzeka kubangelwe ukwephulwa kwenkontileka okwenzeke ngenxa yesiteleka somlingisi sango-2023. Ngaleso sikhathi, abalingisi abaningi baphula izinkontileka zabo nama-Talent Agencies abo. Ukube i-Talent Agency inesizinda sewebhu futhi yasibhalisa futhi yasisebenzela egameni lomlingisi, futhi egameni lalowo mlingisi, nangemvume yalowo mlingisi... Nanku umphumela. Kubukeka kufaneleka kakhulu, futhi kuyindida ngendlela emangalisayo ukuthi INHLANGANO YAKHE ibonakala ithathe isinyathelo esibe yingozi EZITHAKAZENI ZAKHE. Hawu, njengalokhu okwenziwa inyunyana yomunye umfana. Zama ukuqagela ukuthi yimuphi umfana.

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