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'Left and Right' Comedy Dialogue

ʻO ka lā ʻo Ianuali kanakolukumamākahi i ka makahiki ʻelua kaukani iwakāluakūmākolu, pono ʻelua mau mākaʻi wiwo ʻole o ka lawelawe ʻana i ka pepa ʻauheʻe e hakakā me nā kūlana ʻino i mea e lilo ai i lanakila a lanakila. ʻO kēia ka moʻolelo o ka hoʻopakele ʻana o Dotcom Kim lāua ʻo Sergeant Peartree i kahi mea paahana holoʻokoʻa mai nā paʻa pilikia o ka Malevolence and Compassion Skilled Trades Bureau. Ua hoʻomaka ia i ka wā i komo mai ai kahi kelepona pilikia mai ka TPSB ma 2:30 PM Eastern Standard Time:

bBBBRrrrriiinnNNNG! _(kelepona)

bbbBBBRrrrriiiNNNGgg! _(kelepona)

BBBRrrrriiiNNNG! _(kelepona)

^KIM Ua pane koke wau i ke kelepona i koʻu ʻike ʻana ʻo ʻoe!

_TPSB Ke kāhea aku nei au i kahi mea o ka wikiwiki loa. Makemake au iā ʻoe e hele i ke keʻena o ka Skilled Trades Bureau a e hopu koke i kahi mea paahana a kahi mea kālepa.

^KIM He aha kaʻu e hopu ai i kēia mea paahana? Ua pilikia paha ka mea hana?!

_TPSB D..k..ssshhhhhh...(Holo ka laina)

^KIM NOOOOooo! Ua palekana nā mea hana?! A I ʻole nā ​​mea hana UNSAFE!!??

...sssssshhssss...(kahea-leo)

^KIM ANSWER MEEEEEEE!!!!....

( malie )

^KIM (noho mālie, hāʻule ka waimaka ma kona pāpālina)

^Sarge Ua lohe au i KE KANAKA! Aia ke kelepona ma ke kelepona leo, LETS ROLL.

^KIM ʻO nā mea hana ... aia nā mea hana i ka pōʻino o ka nalowale a i ʻole kahi kuhi. Manaʻo wau ua ʻike mākou ʻelua i kēia manawa ...

^Sarge NO KIM! ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke ʻae i kēlā hana!

... e kau pū ana i ko lāua mau lima ma luna o ka ʻoluʻolu waena, hoʻohuli lāua ʻelua i ke kī no ka hoʻokomo ʻana i nā kikina ma...

Me ka pedal i ka metala, ʻili lākou i waho o ka hale kūʻai ma ka ʻāpana lepo-2, a komo koke i ka GRIDLOCK piha.

^KIM I kēia manawa ʻo ka manawa pono ʻo 2:42 PM ke hoʻouna aku nei au i leka uila pōkole iā Mr. MURDOCK.

^Sarge ʻAe, akā no ke aha ʻoe e hoʻōho nei i kona inoa hope iaʻu?

^KIM Ua maopopo iā ʻoe ke walaʻau nei au?

^Sarge ʻAe, hiki iaʻu ke haʻi no ka mea aia ka leka ma 'ALL CAPS'.

^KIM Auwe, mālie, ʻaʻohe pono e hoʻōho i nā huaʻōlelo 'all-caps' iaʻu.

Ua hoʻopau lākou i ʻekolu hola e kolo ana i ka gridlock. I ko lākou hōʻea ʻana i ka MCSTB, ua pani ʻia nā keʻena. Hoʻopau lākou ma ka hola 3:00 PM. No ka makemake ʻole e hoʻohana i kā lāua mana ʻūlū pepa kūikawā i loaʻa iā lāua, ua hoʻoholo lāua e hoʻi i ka lā aʻe o ke kakahiaka.

^Sarge Aia mākou ma ka MCSTB i kēia manawa.

^KIM ʻAe, ʻoiaʻiʻo, a ʻike ʻia ua pani ʻia.

^Sarge ʻAʻole wau makemake e hoʻohana mākou i kā mākou Mana Hoʻomaʻemaʻe Pepa Kūʻai kūikawā i kēia manawa.

^KIM E hoʻi kāua i ko kākou mau home ponoʻī, a laila e hoʻi hou i ka Huli Hula o kēia pukana i ke kakahiaka ʻapōpō, no ka mea, he mea nui loa ia.

Hoʻi nā mākaʻi ʻelua i ka home a hui hou i ke kakahiaka nui ma ka Dirty-2 Division

Ma ka moku holo moku, nana lakou i kekahi i kekahi ma na maka, puliki lima a hoohuli hou i ke kani, NO KEKAHI MANAWA HOPE. E mālama ana lākou i kēlā mea hana me ka hopena.

^{ʻO Sarge} E mālama mākou i kēlā mea hana me ka ʻole o nā hopena!

^KIM I AGGRREEEEEE

ʻO ka wikiwiki ʻelua ma ke kūlanakauhale, kani nā kani, kani ka pū. Hiki lākou i ka MCSTB.

^{ʻO Sarge} E ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o koʻu manaʻo ke ʻike au ʻaʻole pilikia nā mea hana i ka nalowale a i ʻole ke kuhi hewa ʻana.

^KIM Mai hopohopo! E loaʻa iā mākou kēlā mau mea hana a e mālama i kēlā mau mea hana! He mea koʻikoʻi mākou, e like me nā Luna TPS, e hōʻike i ke aloha no nā mea āpau a no nā kumu āpau.

^Sarge He aha kāu ʻōlelo pololei?

^KIM ʻO kēlā mau mea hana, kēlā mau mea hana ʻilihune paha, makaʻu loa, makaʻu loa i kēia manawa.

^Sarge Nā mea hana? ʻAʻohe manaʻo o nā mea hana.

^KIM LAUA HANA! He mau manaʻo ko lākou!

^Sarge ( malie)

^KIM ʻIke ʻoe iā Sarge, he kanaka haipule loa wau. Hāʻawi ke Kānāwai Kanada i nā kuleana, he nui loa nā kuleana.

^Sarge ​

^KIM Ma Kanada ua loaʻa iā mākou kā mākou kānāwai kūikawā i kapa ʻia ʻo ka Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Hāʻawi ia i nā kuleana kūikawā i nā Makaʻāinana ma kēia ʻāina maikaʻi akā, pehea nā holoholona? Pehea na holoholona? ʻAʻole pono e loaʻa i nā holoholona nā kuleana pū kekahi iā Sarge?

^Sarge ʻAe, ʻoiaʻiʻo pono lākou ...

^KIM A pehea nā lāʻau? Hana ke Kulanakauhale i na kanawai e hooki ana i na kanaka mai ke oki i na laau. ʻO wau iho, manaʻoʻiʻo wau i kēlā mau pono.

^Sarge Pono...

^KIM ʻAʻole ʻoe ʻike i kaʻu e ʻōlelo nei Sarge? He kuleana ko nā holoholona, ​​he kuleana ko nā mea kanu akā, pehea ka pono o nā mea In-animate? ʻAʻole pono i nā mea In-animate nā kuleana like me nā mea ʻē aʻe a pau?

^Sarge Manaʻo wau ʻike wau i kāu e ʻōlelo nei ...

^KIM ʻAe! ʻO Sarge pololei! ʻO kēlā mau mea hana, ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono e loaʻa nā kuleana like o nā mea kanu, nā holoholona, ​​​​a i ʻole nā ​​​​kānaka. Pono ka Charter e pale like i nā mea a pau, a ʻaʻole e hoʻoholo i nā pono a me nā pono ʻole.

^Sarge ...no laila, ʻo kāu e ʻōlelo nei, ʻaʻole pili ka mea nona nā mea hana...

^KIM Pono, ʻaʻole ia he mea nui, no ka mea, ʻaʻole hiki i kekahi ke lilo i mea nona nā mea hana. ʻO nā mea hana ponoʻī kā mākou e mālama nei. I kēia manawa, ke noi nei ka TPSB iā mākou e 'hopu' i nā mea hana akā, makemake wau e hoʻohana i ka huaʻōlelo 'hoʻokuʻu'. ʻO kēlā mau mea hana makaʻu liʻiliʻi ʻilihune, hiki iā lākou ke nalowale a i ʻole ke kuhi hewa i kēlā me kēia manawa. ʻAʻole, ʻaʻole pono e hoʻokaʻaʻike i ka mea nona ka ʻae ʻia. ʻO nā mea hana ponoʻī kā mākou e hoʻopakele me ka wiwo ʻole.

^Sarge ʻae wau i kāu ʻōlelo.

^KIM I ka wā e hiki mai ana, ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei au e ʻae ko kākou ʻaha kanaka i nā kuleana o nā mea In-animate ma ke ʻano he AS waiwai, a ʻoi aku paha ka waiwai ma mua o mākou. I loko o ka 'Future Charter' ua ʻike au i kā mākou mau hana i kēia lā, i kēia lā pōʻino, e ʻike ʻia he pololei.

^Sarge He aha?

^KIM Darn it Sarge!

^{Loaʻa iā Sarge} Murdock nā kuleana ma lalo o ka Charter of Rights and Freedoms, ʻo ia hoʻi ka Pauku 8: "He kuleana ko kēlā me kēia kanaka e palekana mai ka huli ʻana a me ka hopu ʻole ʻia."

^KIM Oh suuuuure... Akā, pehea ka pono o ia mau mea hana? ʻO kēlā mau mea paahana liʻiliʻi makaʻu, ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike inā e hoʻohana ʻia lākou i kekahi lā i ke kālai a me ka hana maoli ʻana i nā mea kino ʻē aʻe. He aha ka manaʻo o kēlā mau mea hana?!

^Sarge ...uuuhhhhh...

^KIM A ME! A, pehea kaʻu Kuleana Charter?! ʻAʻole anei iaʻu ke kuleana i kaʻu mau manaʻo hoʻomana? A no ka manaʻoʻiʻo i kēlā me kēia hoʻomana aʻu e makemake ai, ʻaʻole paha ia?

^Sarge ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu kāu mea e loaʻa nei akā, e ʻoluʻolu e hoʻomau.

^KIM HE PONO AʻU E HAʻAʻI NO ʻoe?

^Sarge (ʻaʻole maopopo pehea e pane ai)

^KIM HE KOKUA HOI!... Aia! Ua ʻōlelo wau, ua ʻōlelo hope wau. He hoomanakii paakiki au. Ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei au i ke akua o nā mea ola ʻole a hoʻomana wau iā lākou.

^Sarge Oh... i kēia manawa ua maopopo iaʻu. Wahi a nā kulekele ponoʻī a ka Toilet Papering Service, pono wau e hoʻomaikaʻi a hoʻokipa iā ʻoe no kāu hoʻomana koʻikoʻi. Bravo.

^KIM Pono, a inā pono wau e hele i ka 'Charter versus Charter' no ka mālama ʻana i kaʻu kuleana hoʻomana i kēlā mau mea hana, E HANA wau.

^{ʻAʻole pili ʻo Sarge} i kēia, pehea ka hele ʻana o kāu pūnaewele?

^KIM Oh, ʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu, poina iaʻu i ka ʻōlelo huna o ka moʻokāki, no laila ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke uku i ka uku hoʻokahi kālā i kēlā me kēia mahina. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole ia he mea koʻikoʻi iaʻu ma ke ʻano he kikowaena dot com, ʻoiai me koʻu inoa ponoʻī, a aʻu i hoʻopaʻa inoa ai, ʻaʻole ia he mea nui iaʻu. ʻO koʻu manaʻo ... ʻaʻole ia he ʻuhane a he kuleana a he mea paha. ʻAʻole ia he mea kino e like me nā kiʻi aʻu e hoʻomana nei.

^Sarge ʻAe. ʻAʻohe mea e hopohopo ai.

^KIM Pololei. Ma waho aʻe, he aha ka naʻaupō e uku i ke kālā nui e kūʻai i kahi inoa domain me ka inoa o kekahi ma luna? ʻO 198 euro ka nui o ke kālā no kahi mea kino ʻole.

^Sarge Pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai i ke kumukūʻai kūʻai e hiki mai ana?

^KIM ʻAʻohe manawa no kēlā i kēia manawa, e hele kāua e mālama i kēlā mau mea hana!

Lawe lākou i nā mea hana a hoʻopunipuni i ke kākau ʻōlelo ma ka ʻōlelo ʻana e hāʻawi ana lākou iā Mr. Murdock.

^Sarge Maikaʻi ua hoʻopunipuni mākou i ke kākau ʻōlelo ma ka ʻōlelo ʻana e hāʻawi ana mākou i nā mea hana iā Mr. Murdock.

^KIM E hoʻouna au i leka uila iā Mr. MURDOCK ʻoiai ʻo ia ka hola 9:06 AM.

^Sarge ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻōho i kona inoa, ke kū nei au ma ʻaneʻi.

^KIM E kala mai, ua paheʻe koʻu manamana lima ma ke kī kī kī. ʻO Gee whiz, manaʻolana wau ʻaʻole ʻo ka leka uila aʻu i hoʻouna aku nei he hōʻike paʻa o ka hōʻole ʻana i ke kānāwai e pili ana i ke Kānāwai Hoʻoponopono Kivila. 'Oi aku ka $2501.60 ma mua o $1000.

^Sarge Mai hopohopo, ʻo nā rookies wale nō e hoʻomaʻemaʻe i ke kālā ma mua o $1000 me ka Loio Kuhina. ʻO koʻu manaʻo, ʻaʻole ia ʻo 2021 hou, hoʻopau iā ia ...

A... hope o ka hiʻona.

O ka hookuli i ke kii ka mea ino loa i ka manao o ke kii.

'Ōlelo Aʻo: Mai ka kākau ʻana i kēia, ua hoʻoholo ʻia ʻo ke kūʻai aku ʻana i kēia Pūnaewele hiki ke hoʻopili ʻia i nā uhaki ʻaelike i hana ʻia ma muli o ka 2023 Actor's Strike. I kēlā manawa, nui nā mea hana i uhaki i kā lākou mau ʻaelike me kā lākou Talent Agencies. Inā loaʻa i ka Talent Agency kahi pūnaewele puni honua a ua hoʻopaʻa inoa iā ia a hoʻohana ʻia ma ka inoa o kahi Keaka, a ma ka inoa o kēlā Actor, a me ka ʻae ʻana o kēlā Actor ... Eia iā mākou ka hopena. Me he mea la, he mea kupono loa, a he mea hoohenehene no ka hana ana o KANA UNION i ka hana i poino ai i KONA PILI. Auwe, e like me ka hana a kekahi kanaka hui. E ho'āʻo e koho i ke kanaka.

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