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'Kkono ne Ddyo' Comedy Dialogue

Olunaku lwa January Amakumi Asatu mu Emu mu mwaka Emitwalo ebiri mu ssatu, ba Detective babiri abazira ab’ekitongole kya Toilet Papering Service balina okukola olutalo n’embeera embi okusobola okufuuka abawanguzi n’obuwanguzi. Eno y’emboozi y’engeri Dotcom Kim ne Sergeant Peartree gye baataasaamu ekibinja kyonna eky’ebikozesebwa okuva mu mikono egy’akabi egy’ekitongole kya Malevolence and Compassion Skilled Trades Bureau. Byonna byatandika essimu ey’amangu bwe yayingidde okuva mu TPSB ku ssaawa 2:30 ez’ekiro Eastern Standard Time:

bBBBRrrrrriiiinnNNNG! _(essimu)

bbbBBBRrrrrriiiiiNNNGgg! _(essimu)

BBBRrrrrriiiiNNNG! _(essimu)

^KIM essimu nagikwata mangu nga bwe nsobola nga ndaba ggwe!

_TPSB Nkubira essimu ku nsonga ey'amangu ennyo. Nze nneetaaga ogende mu ofiisi ya Skilled Trades Bureau n’owamba tool-set y’omusuubuzi mu bwangu.

^KIM Whatever for nja kuwamba tool-set eno? Ekikozesebwa-set kiri mu kabi?!

_TPSB D..k..ssshhhhhh...(layini esirika)

^KIM NOOOoooo! Ebikozesebwa tebirina bulabe?! OBA ebikozesebwa tebirina bukuumi!!??

...sssssshhssss...(eddoboozi ly'okukuba)

^KIM DDAMU MEEEEeeee!!!!....

(okusirika)

^KIM (asirikidde, amaziga gamuyitamu ku ttama)

^Sarge nawulira BULI MUSAJJA! Omulanga gwabadde ku speakerphone, LETS ROLL.

^KIM Ebikozesebwa biri... ebikozesebwa biri mu kabi ak’okubula oba okubuzaabuzibwa. Ndowooza nti ffembi tukimanyi nti kati...

^Sarge TEWALI KIM! Ekyo tetusobola kukikkiriza kubaawo!

...nga bateeka emikono gyabwe wamu ku console eya wakati, bombi bakyusa switch okuteeka ssirensi ku...

Nga pedal eri ku kyuma, basekula okuva mu stationhouse ku dirty-2 Division, era amangu ago ne bayingira GRIDLOCK enzijuvu.

^KIM Kati nga essaawa bweri 2:42 PM ddala nweereza email ennyimpi eri Mr. MURDOCK.

^Sarge Yee, naye lwaki onleekaanira amannya ge ag’enkomerero?

^KIM Okakasa nti nleekaana?

^Sarge Yee, nsobola okukimanya kubanga ennukuta eri mu 'ALL CAPS'.

^KIM Wow, kkakkana, tekyetaagisa kunkuba nduulu ebigambo ‘all-caps’.

Essaawa ssatu ezaddirira baazimala nga beekulukuunya mu bbanga. Bwe baatuuse ku MCSTB, ofiisi zaali zaggalwa dda. Ziggalawo ku ssaawa 3:00 ez'ekiro. Olw’obutayagala kukozesa Toilet Papering Powers zaabwe ez’enjawulo ze balina, bombi baasalawo okudda enkeera ku makya.

^Sarge Tuli ku MCSTB kati.

^KIM Yee, ekyo kituufu, era kirabika kiggaddwa.

^Sarge Saagala tukozese Toilet Papering Powers zaffe ez'enjawulo ez'enjawulo mu kiseera kino.

^KIM Tuddeyo mu maka gaffe n’oluvannyuma tuddeyo mu Hot Pursuit y’ensonga eno enkya ku makya, kuba ya mugaso nnyo.

Ba Detective bano bombi baddayo eka ne baddamu okutuula ku makya ennyo ku dirty-2 Division

Nate mu cruiser, batunuuliragana mu maaso, ne bakwata emikono ne baddamu okukuba ssayirini, FOR ONE LAST TIME. Bagenda kutaasa tool-set eyo ne bwe kiba kivaamu.

^Sarge WE'VE GOTTA SAVE EKYO TOOLSET NE BEERA EKIBADDE!

^KIM NZE AGGRREEEEEEE

Ababiri bano badduka sipiidi emitala w’ekibuga, nga ssayirini zivuga, ejjembe nga likuba. Batuuka ku MCSTB.

^Sarge Nja kuwulira bulungi nnyo nga nkimanyi nti ebikozesebwa tebikyali mu bulabe bwa kubula oba okubuzaabuzibwa.

^KIM Tofaayo! Tujja kuzuula ebikozesebwa ebyo era TUJJA kutereka ebikozesebwa ebyo! Kikulu nnyo ffe ng’Abaserikale ba TPS okulaga okusaasira ebintu byonna n’ensonga zonna.

^Sarge Otegeeza ki ddala?

^KIM Ebikozesebwa ebyo, ebikozesebwa ebyo ebibi birina okuba nga bitya nnyo, bitya nnyo mu kiseera kino.

^Sarge Ebikozesebwa? Ebikozesebwa tebirina nneewulira.

^KIM BAKOZESA! Kye ddala balina enneewulira!

^Sarge (omusirise) .

^KIM Olaba Sarge, ndi muntu wa ddiini ekisukkiridde. Etteeka lya Canada liwa eddembe, kale eddembe lingi nnyo.

^Sarge (nga musirise) .

^KIM Mu Canada tulina Etteeka lyaffe ery’enjawulo eriyitibwa Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Ewa eddembe eryenjawulo eri Bannansi mu nsi eno ey’obwenkanya naye, ate ebisolo? Ate ebisolo? Ebisolo tebisaanidde kufuna ddembe nnyo Sarge?

^Sarge Yee, ddala balina...

^{KIM Era} ate emiti? Ekibuga kikola amateeka agaziyiza abantu okutema emiti. Nze ku lwange nzikiririza mu ddembe eryo.

^Sarge Mazima ddala...

^KIM Tolaba bye njogera Sarge? Ebisolo birina eddembe, Ebimera birina eddembe naye, ate eddembe ly’ebintu ebiri mu bulamu? Ebintu ebiri mu bulamu tebisaanidde kuba na ddembe lye limu nga buli kintu ekirala ekiriwo kye kirina?

^Sarge ndowooza ndaba by'oyogera...

^KIM Yee! Ddala Sarge! Ebikozesebwa ebyo, mu butuufu, birina okuba n’eddembe lyonna lye limu ery’ebimera, ebisolo, oba n’abantu. Endagaano Esaana Okukuuma buli kimu kyenkanyi, so si kusalawo kiki ekirina okuba n’eddembe.

^Sarge ...kale, ky'oyogera kiri nti, si kikulu ani nnannyini bikozesebwa...

^KIM Ddala, si kikulu, kubanga mu butuufu tewali ayinza kuba nnannyini bikozesebwa. Ebikozesebwa byennyini bye tutereka. Kati, TPSB yali etusaba ‘okuwamba’ ebikozesebwa naye, nandyagadde okukozesa ekigambo ‘okusumulula’. Ebikozesebwa ebyo ebitono ebyavu ebyatiisa, byali bisobola okubula oba okubula essaawa yonna ddala. Nedda, tekyetaagisa kutuukirira nnannyini yo okufuna olukusa. Ebikozesebwa byennyini bye tutaasa mu buzira.

^Sarge Nzikiriziganya n'ekigambo kyo.

^KIM Mu biseera eby’omu maaso, nzikiriza nti ekitundu kyaffe kijja kutuuka ekiseera kikkirize eddembe ly’ebintu ebiri mu bulamu nga nga bya muwendo NGA, era mpozzi n’okusinga ffe. Mu ‘Future Charter’ nkimanyi ebikolwa byaffe leero, ku lunaku luno olw’enkomerero, bijja kulabibwa mu kutunula emabega nga bituufu.

^Sarge Kiki?

^KIM Darn it Sarge!

^Sarge Murdock alina eddembe wansi w'Endagaano y'Eddembe n'Eddembe, naddala ekitundu 8: "Buli muntu alina eddembe okubeera obukuumi okuva ku kunoonya oba okukwatibwa mu ngeri etasaana."

^KIM Oh suuuuure... Naye ate eddembe ly'ebikozesebwa ebyo? Abo abatidde obuuma obutonotono, abatamanyi na oba olunaku lumu bujja kukozesebwa mu kuyoola n’okukola ddala ebintu ebirala ebirabika. Ebikozesebwa ebyo byandirowoozezza ki ku ekyo?!

^Sarge ...uuuhhhhh...

^KIM NE! Era, ate Eddembe lyange erya Charter?! Sirina ddembe ku nzikiriza YANGE ey’eddiini? Era okukkiriza mu ddiini yonna gye njagala, ne bwe kiba ki?

^Sarge simanyi ky'otuuseeko naye, nsaba ogende mu maaso.

^KIM NNINA OKUKWATAGANA?

^Sarge (sikakasa ngeri ya kuddamu)

^KIM NZE MUSAJJA OMULUNDI!... Eyo! Nakyogera, nasembayo okukyogera. Ndi Musinza Ebifaananyi omukambwe. Nzikiriza mu bwakatonda bw’ebintu ebitali biramu era mbisinza.

^Sarge Oh... kati ntegedde. Okusinziira ku nkola z’ekitongole kya Toilet Papering Service yennyini, nteekwa okukuyozaayoza n’okukusembeza olw’eddiini yo ey’enjawulo. Bravo.

^KIM Ddala, era bwe mba nnina okugenda ‘Charter versus Charter’ okunyweza omulimu gwange ogw’eddiini eri ebikozesebwa ebyo, NJA KIKOLA.

^Sarge Tekikwatagana na kino, omukutu gwo gujja gutya?

^KIM Oh, simanyi, nneerabidde password ya account, kale sisobola kusasula ssente za doola emu buli mwezi. Ddala si kikulu nnyo gyendi nga dot com domain, ne bwe kiba nga nnina amannya gange, era nga nze kennyini nnawandiisa, si kikulu gyendi. Ntegeeza... si nga bwekirina emmeeme oba eddembe oba ekintu kyonna. Si wadde ekintu ekirabika ng’ebifaananyi bye nsinza.

^Sarge Yeeyo. Tewali kyeraliikiriza.

^KIM Ddala ddala. N’ekirala, musiru ki eyandisasudde ssente ez’omuwendo okugula erinnya lya domain nga liriko erinnya ly’omuntu omulala anyhow? Euro 198 ssente nnyingi ku kintu ekitali kya mubiri.

^Sarge Omanyi otya bbeeyi y’okutunda mu biseera eby’omu maaso?

^KIM NO TIME FOR THAT NOW, KATUGENDE TATase EBIKOLWA EBYO!

Batwala ebikozesebwa ne balimba omuwandiisi nga bagamba nti babituusa ewa Mwami Murdock.

^Sarge Ekirungi twalimba omuwandiisi nga tugamba nti ebikozesebwa twabituusa eri omwami Murdock.

^KIM Kati nja kuweereza email eri Mr. MURDOCK kuba ssaawa 9:06 zennyini ez'oku makya.

^Sarge Tolina kuleekaana linnya lye, nnyimiridde wano wennyini.

^KIM Bambi, engalo yange yaseerera ku kisumuluzo kya caps-lock. Gee whiz, nsuubira nti email gye nnaakaweereza si bujulizi bukakafu obw’okujeemera etteeka erikwatagana n’etteeka ly’okuwola abantu. Ntegeeza $2501.60 zisukka $1000.

^Sarge Tofaayo, ba rookies bokka be ba clear money ezisukka mu $1000 ne Attorney General. Ntegeeza, si 2021, giveeko...

Era... enkomerero y’ekifo.

OKUJEMBEERA EKIBUMBE kye kintu ekisinga obubi mu birowoozo by’OMUSIKA.

Weetegereze: Okuva lwe twawandiika bino, kizuuliddwa nti okutunda Omukutu guno kuyinza okusinga okuva ku kumenya endagaano okwaliwo nga kivudde ku keediimo ka Actor’s Strike mu 2023. Mu kiseera ekyo, Bannakatemba bangi baamenya endagaano zaabwe ne Talent Agencies zaabwe. Singa Talent Agency yalina web-domain era nga yagiwandiisa n'agiddukanya ku lwa Actor, era mu linnya lya Actor oyo, era nga efunye olukusa lwa Actor oyo... Wano we tulina ebyavaamu. Kirabika kituukirawo nnyo, era nga kisekererwa mu ngeri etategeerekeka nti OMUKWANO GWE gulabika nga gwakola ekibadde eky’obulabe eri EBINTU BYE. Wow, ddala nga bweyakola union ya guy omulala. Gezaako okuteebereza guy ki.

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